Moving On

[coalescent]

I spent this afternoon and evening in Oxford, because two of my friends were graduating. Rachel and Veronica both read biochemistry at St Hilda's; Rachel is also the girlfriend of Ollie, with whom I went to school, and who later read biochemistry at St John's. Rachel should not be confused with Rachel, who was the other biochemist at Magdalen, and who is currently doing a PGCE based near Oxford, but who didn't manage to turn up at all this evening.

Anyway.

A good time was had by all, although working out somewhere to eat was something of a struggle, involving moving between three bars and two restaurants. But I was left with a very strong feeling of wanting to go back to Oxford. And I always told myself that would be a mistake, because it wouldn't be the same when I wasn't a student - but this evening I realised something: I don't want it to be the same. I want what's next. I want to be independent, to have a job I truly enjoy and to live in a city that I love.

What really brought all this home to me was Rachel. Out of all of us there, she's the one that's no longer a student. Part of that is that she was dressed better than anyone else. Rachel is one of those girls you're supposed to find beautiful: tall, leggy, curvy and all the rest. She does nothing for me. But tonight, she looked (for want of a better word) elegant. Striking. She looked like a young career woman.

So that was part of it. But the rest of it was in her attitude. Rachel never really knew what she wanted to do after she'd finished her degree. At one point she was going to do medicine, then she was going to work for L'Oreal, then it was teach and now she's ended up working in the lab of her tutor as an X-ray crystallographer - and whilst it's not like this is suddenly making her life complete, she's enjoying it. She clearly likes having a focus - she even said she'd started thinking of it as a 'challenge'.

I want that, I think. Not the science; but I want the job, the lifestyle, the purpose. I've been saying all along that this bookshop thing is temporary, that I'm going to move on in the new year and find something more permanent. Now I mean it.

And I needed to get that written down before the feeling of motivation wore off. :-)

Comments

What happened about ES?

[(Anonymous)]

Get any where? Have you tried Blackwells Science?

Stewart (http://www.foxbasealpha.co.uk/wibblings/journal.shtml)

[brassyn.livejournal.com]

yay niall!

but..what was your plan before this? ;)

[ex-toastie256.livejournal.com]

to live in a city that I love

oh, this is so important. the cool thing about being in an interesting place like oxford is that as you change, you'll notice different aspects of the same place.

an X-ray crystallographer

wow, i actually know what this means. must be learning something :)

[despotliz.livejournal.com]

an X-ray crystallographer

wow, i actually know what this means. must be learning something :)

We'll make a biochemist of you yet!

[tinyjo.livejournal.com]

Hear hear and stuff! I deliberatly decided at the begining of my third year that I wasn't going to do a 4 year course because I really needed a break from being a student. And I love being a person with a 'career' - or at least a well paying job. At the risk of sounding horribly materialistic I particularly love not having to scrimp and watch the money all the time - if I suddenly really fancy a night out I can afford to eat in a resturant. I can treat myself to a really nice skirt at the Monsoon sale. And I love the combination of being challenged by my job but not having to do it in the evenings or weekend. And finally of course, with my friends all gathered here already, a beautiful city which I feel at home in, Oxford is the perfect place to be to do it. I wouldn't necessarily say that now is the happiest time in my life because Uni was great but it definatly compares.

Ra Niall!

[applez.livejournal.com]

Yup, I know just what you mean, and I quite agree with Jo ... still, as nice as SF is, it is no Oxford. :) My grand scheme is to return there, once certain affairs here are sorted out first. A DPhil, or even emigration might even be in order.

BTW, since I am now properly on LJ, you can read what I've been up to.

Zac :)

[malenfant.livejournal.com]

I didn't have a plan. I was trying to resist going back to Oxford, but I've now realised that's pointless. :)

I plan to have a jobhunting blitz during my week off work at the end of the month.

[elleblue.livejournal.com]

I agree that sticking around Oxford doesn't mean keeping to the same patterns as when you were an undergrad. Even though I'm now a fresher here all over again, it feels very different and more grown-up this time round, although I'm not likely to reach as far as "elegant" any time soon. I'm amused that in a few weeks time, I'll be tutoring alongside people who tutored me when I was new.. that will bring in a fair bit of money, too :-) Anyway, good luck coming back!