Love is...?

[coalescent]

Love is a many-splendored thing. Love is just a game. In Angel, love is sacrifice. In Buffy (infamously) love isn't brains, children, it's blood - screaming in you to work its will.

Me, I've never really asked myself what love is; love is love, y'know? Then last night, a friend came up with this: 'Love is freedom.' I like that. It somehow encapsulates the joy and the terror of the emotion, all at the same time. You can be who you want, do what you want, but to get there, at some point you have to let go.

So I was just wondering - what else is love?

[Poll #162916]

Comments

[brassyn.livejournal.com]

Not agreeing with Tim's answer here.

[pikelet.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm uneasy with even attempting to distill such a complex and varied emotion down to a single word, or a soundbite. The only thing that I can say for certain that 'love is' would be 'not something that lends itself to a definitional stop'.

In any case, in the absence of my thinking that the question is a good one, I decided to cheat and answer with some U2.

But even so, what's love? Familial love, amorous love, lusting love, brotherly love, platonic love, unrequited love, young love - there's too many variables.

And as for 'blindness'... well, if it's blindness to somebody else's faults, then I daresay that there are several variants of love that would feature such a condition. There's the inverted blindness, too - the conviction that you see something that nobody else does. More commonly associated with unrequited love, I should imagine, but still valid. And then it could be the loss of awareness that happens when someone walks in the room - suddenly you're completely blind to everything and everyone else around you.

At the very least, love does seem to produce an astigmatic haze of some kind in most people.

And then there's the more old-wives-tale kind of blindness. The one where you realise that you've fallen in love, it's all going wrong, and you're only succeeding in making a complete and utter wanker out of yourself. Then there's not only blindness, but hairy palms too.

What kind of love? And which aspect of the particular love you mean provides for you the definition of that love? I think we should all know by now that music is my one true love, so it seems only fitting that I should define it with a song.

[coalescent.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm uneasy with even attempting to distill such a complex and varied emotion down to a single word, or a soundbite.

Just call me Xander.

But even so, what's love? Familial love, amorous love, lusting love, brotherly love, platonic love, unrequited love, young love - there's too many variables.

To be fair, I was specifically referring to romantic, pair-bonding love. But then, I have a fairly narrow definition of the word.

I think we should all know by now that music is my one true love, so it seems only fitting that I should define it with a song.

And there I was thinking it was a pointed comment about my emotional choices. ;-)

[pikelet.livejournal.com]

And there I was thinking it was a pointed comment about my emotional choices.

Oh it was, completely. But I figured if I made that much explicit, it might be a bit harsh :)

A feedback loop

[tinyjo.livejournal.com]

You're happy because they're happy because you're happy and it just feeds off of itself

[elleblue.livejournal.com]

I like your answer. I'm not sure it's the feedback loop itself, though, or maybe a state that's a precondition needing to be met before the feedback loop can happen. The desire for unity with a person (a suitable mate, for instance) that kicks off the loop in the first place iff the other party reciprocates. A feel-good, altruism-rich sort of desire.

Freedom

[greengolux.livejournal.com]

'Love is freedom.'

I disagree. I would say that if you genuinely feel love for someone, then that brings with it an obligation to act in certain ways. Loving someone involves supporting them, compromising with them, standing by them, working with them, and generally acting in their best interests (without neglecting our own interests too, of course). We're still free not to do these things, but if we don't do them then either we're failing the person we love, or we are, perhaps, not as in love as we like to think we are.

Freedom is being able to do what you want, when you want, how you want. This isn't always possible if you have someone else's thoughts/feelings/life to consider, as well as your own.

Ah, you're going to say, I meant freedom to be, not freedom to do. And yes, I think on some level it's true that we can't really be the most we can be in isolation, and that our relationships allow us to become who we are (and personally I think this applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones). But I wouldn't call that freedom. (Semantics again.) It's more like realising some sort of potential in yourself. That sounds corny, but I don't know how else to put it.

Unless you were thinking of some other interpretation of what it could mean for love to be freedom? Maybe I missed your point somewhere...

Re: Freedom

[pikelet.livejournal.com]

We're still free not to do these things, but if we don't do them then either we're failing the person we love, or we are, perhaps, not as in love as we like to think we are.

Must... not... mention... comparison with... end of 'Angel' season 4...

Re: Freedom

[coalescent.livejournal.com]

Ah, you're going to say, I meant freedom to be, not freedom to do.

Hurrah for amazing psychic powers. :)

It's more like realising some sort of potential in yourself. That sounds corny, but I don't know how else to put it.

OK, we are into semantics again. The way I was thinking about it, love is nonjudgemental. If you love someone and someone loves you, you're free to be the person you want to be without fear that they'll reject you. Or something. Obviously I don't *really* believe any of this. Love is freedom? What kind of crazed hippy nonsense is that, eh? ;-)

Re: Freedom

[veggiesu.livejournal.com]

[How did miss this? I've just followed Geneva's link to the poll... must pay more attention to my friends pages in the furture]

If you love someone and someone loves you, you're free to be the person you want to be without fear that they'll reject you.

Can I just say "I agree"?

Re: Freedom

[coalescent.livejournal.com]

Tsk. It's like you immediately assume all my posts are going to be tedious monologues about science fiction, or something. ;-)

Re: Freedom

[veggiesu.livejournal.com]

Pfft.
I missed it because I was in the middle of writing an assignment and gearing up for summer school becasue this was LAST YEAR!!!!! D'oh!

[despotliz.livejournal.com]

toastie is making me think of heart transplants. Possibly not the desired thought. :)

[giantbedsprings.livejournal.com]

There was someone who said that love is when you realise that you can completely and utterly care about somebody else, and you stop caring about yourself.

I think that's partially true. You just want everything for the person you love - you want to be with them always. It's slightly addictive, but an incredible feeling. It completely takes over your body and you're so contented.